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Kill My Time

by Melanie MacLaren

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1.
Drop a line the summer’s calling Missed the bus so we’ll keep walkin’ Couple blocks and all this silence Bound to turn to talking Are you down to mess around? Rising moon and a forty ounce Sit out on the fire escape Behind my neighbor’s house I don’t like to spill my guts but I get so sad, I get so drunk I’ll eat these words but I think You’re a shoulder I can trust Graveyard shift Without a ghost to haunt me Kill my time I am yours, if you want me Ketamine, amphetamines Saying shit that you don't mean Still you're the boy in all those dreams I've been blessed to borrow Latchkey kids have all been told Rock and roll will save their souls But spending all this time alone Is bound to leave you hollow Can you see it in my eyes? I’m not much fun, I'm not that nice But I’d stay up with you all night To kill the age old sorrow Graveyard shift Without a ghost to haunt me Kill my time I am yours, if you want me
2.
Who’d have guessed I could be your type Hanging by the pool while I was hanging on for life Close your eyes let the world pass by And fall into your glove Cause everything I touch seems to turn to ash and dust And I can’t stand to put that all on you I know you’ve had it good and good for you, I think you should, Some people they just got too much to lose Ooh ooh ooh you're gonna make go insane Ooh ooh ooh sandy shoes and pick up games My heart was barely beating But I was set on keeping it that way Seventeen with the sun in your eyes May we never grow old, may we never die Stuck together, stuck like legs on leather In a Grandville ‘75 When I said “babe I bet you're burning just to put this thing on ice” And you said “you don’t know the half of what I’d like— Well I’d swim to hell and Melbourne to have you for myself Towel off and watch you do the same for someone else” Ooh ooh ooh you're gonna make go insane Ooh ooh ooh faded jeans and tinted shades Oh I was only dreaming But I was set on sleeping through my days Oh I was only dreaming But I was set on sleeping through my days
3.
There’s a mariners church where my friend and I’d go When we wanted our talk cheap and our coffee cold Silent gray men at the tables alone Watching newspapers fade and old friends get old Loneliness means different things to each person To me open water’s as low as room service And I don’t think I could go on for so long Away from a love without fearing its gone Maybe if I was a kid again I could hold you without my hands Killing time in my fantasies Center stage dressed in velveteen Felt real to me I know you think that I’m crazy But you look like crushes I had who are now pushing daisies And I don’t understand why, I don’t understand time, but I try I've always been drawn to the things that hold up Played you Arthur McBride as you filled up your cup Kind of song that sounds like its always been sung Born in the soil, and grown straight up, through the mud I was falling so hard for you Watched my eyes change from green to blue Never said it was love I was feeling Called it fun and then stared at the ceiling Like I’m supposed to do And when I get older I know you will be One of ten million faces I’ve seen But I will hear every word you said ’Til my ears rot away from my head ’Til I’m too far gone to be dead ’Til there’s nothing but silence left ’Til there’s nothing but silence left
4.
Woke up to thunder and lighting No one but darkness beside me With the walls of my room falling in like a tomb And all of my good days behind me Got no reason to be afraid With pillows and blankets and blood in my veins I shouldn't ask for anything else But I ask it anyway All through the howling wind All through the rain Holding my breath to the beat of your name Hoping I’ll see you again Night gets long till a nightingale’s song Cuts through the cracks of my phone Something ‘bout somebody singing they’re lonely Makes you feel not so alone Then I picture you at the foot of my bed Taking the palm of my hand Saying “I know you carry the weight of the world But it sure feels good to dance” All through the howling wind All through the rain Holding my breath to the beat of your name Hoping I’ll see you again And when I fall to a deep dark sleep The kind that has no end I’ll wait at the gates like I’m seventeen The moon just a pearl in my hands You’d stare at your sneakers and kick round the lace, Like who needs the world anyway? When I loved you more than the songs we’d play Or any words could say All through the howling wind All through the rain Holding my breath to the beat of your name Hoping I’ll see you again

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released February 16, 2022

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Melanie MacLaren Nashville, Tennessee

alt folk

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